Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.
Homer Simpson

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Homer Simpson

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson

I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
Homer Simpson

If this were really a nuclear war we'd all be dead meat by now.
Homer Simpson

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
Homer Simpson

Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
Homer Simpson

And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
Homer Simpson

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Homer Simpson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.