Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight.
Homer Simpson

It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
Homer Simpson

Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.
Homer Simpson

OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!
Homer Simpson

Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?
Homer Simpson

Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.
Homer Simpson

No! No no no no no no! Well, yes.
Homer Simpson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
Homer Simpson

Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!
Homer Simpson

They have the Internet on computers, now?
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.