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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber
come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect
on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain
lonliness to the job" of president.
"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question
to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle
of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between
the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a
testicle in the fight.
"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime
crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke |
| Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings |
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Ignore
the boy, Lord.
Homer Simpson |
Dear
Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't
deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions!
Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them
at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're
omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?
Homer Simpson |
You
know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with
me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God
bless her soul, she was really onto something.
Homer Simpson |
| When
will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom
of a bottle, they're on TV! |
|
The
lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who
to smite and they shall be smoten!!!
|
Oh,
people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent.
14% of people know that.
Homer Simpson |
Don't
worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it
up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph
Stalin. (on death of cat).
Homer Simpson |
And
how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,
every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out
of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course,
and I forgot how to drive?
Homer Simpson |
Lisa,
if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's
that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling
and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer Simpson |
Aw,
Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old
man, and old people are useless.
Homer Simpson |
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| Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954. |
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