Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - Nov 10, 2009:
"I wish they caught me six years ago, eight years ago." -- Bernie Madoff, jailed financier and Ponzi schemer, in newly released interview with representatives of the US Securities and Exchange Commission.

"This is all happening because my father didn't buy me a train set as a kid." --Warren Buffett, investor, on his company's $26 billion purchase of Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad - its biggest deal ever.

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." -- Rihanna, pop singer, on the unprecedented levels of media attention she endured after she was assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February.

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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Ignore the boy, Lord.
Homer Simpson

Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?
Homer Simpson

You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something.
Homer Simpson

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Homer Simpson

Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin. (on death of cat).
Homer Simpson

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer Simpson

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Homer Simpson

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.