Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
Homer Simpson

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Homer Simpson

Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose.
Homer Simpson

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
Homer Simpson

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Homer Simpson

Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.
Homer Simpson

If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers.
Homer Simpson

Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender.
Homer Simpson

I'm not normally a religious man, but... if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Homer Simpson

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day, and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.