Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them. (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.
Homer Simpson

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.

I think the saddest day of my life was when I realised I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.

And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.
Homer Simpson

Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
Homer Simpson

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Homer Simpson

Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson

America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.