Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
Homer Simpson

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
Homer Simpson

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.
Homer Simpson

Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"
Homer Simpson

Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).
Homer Simpson

Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers.
Homer Simpson

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Homer Simpson

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!
Homer Simpson

Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.