Homer Simpson Quotes, Funny Homer Simpson Quotes, Homer Simpson Sayings

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Quotes of the Week - November 25, 2008:
"I can't go to my old barber shop now. I've gotta have my barber come to some undisclosed location to cut my hair." -- US President-elect on adjusting to his and his family's new reality and the "certain lonliness to the job" of president.

"Will I be able to have children?" -- Hitler's first question to the doctor who saved his life after a groin injury in the WWI Battle of the Somme. A recently discovered manuscript of a conversation between the doctor and Hitler's priest confirmed the rumor that Hitler lost a testicle in the fight.

"I and others were mistaken early on in saying that the subprime crisis would be contained." -- US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Authors: Simpsons Quotes - Funny Homer Simpson Quotes Sayings

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Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.
Homer Simpson

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Homer Simpson

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
Homer Simpson

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close.
Homer Simpson

Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
Homer Simpson

If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!
Homer Simpson

Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
Homer Simpson

Safety? But sir! If truth be known, I actually caused more accidents around here than any other employee, including a few doozies no one every found out about.
Homer Simpson

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed.
Homer Simpson

Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!" (sung to the air of Flintstones theme song)
Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson: Character from The Simpsons TV show, created by American Cartoonist Matt Groening, born 1954.