Family Guy Quotes, famous Family Guy Quotes Sayings Quotations

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Quotes of the Week - Nov 10, 2009:
"I wish they caught me six years ago, eight years ago." -- Bernie Madoff, jailed financier and Ponzi schemer, in newly released interview with representatives of the US Securities and Exchange Commission.

"This is all happening because my father didn't buy me a train set as a kid." --Warren Buffett, investor, on his company's $26 billion purchase of Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad - its biggest deal ever.

"I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." -- Rihanna, pop singer, on the unprecedented levels of media attention she endured after she was assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February.

Authors: Family Guy Quotes, Famous Family Guy Quotes Sayings Quotations

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Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.
Stewie Griffin: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you!
Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: [hitting on some co-eds] I must say, the most recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular.
Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy?
Stewie Griffin: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta Thigh.
Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
Family Guy

Meg Griffin: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie Griffin: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
Family Guy

Lois Griffin [trying to feed Stewie broccoli airplane style]: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane.
Stewie Griffin: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!
Lois Griffin: My, aren't we fussy tonight. Okay. No broccoli.
Stewie Griffin: Very well then. L...
[Lois shoves the Broccoli into his mouth. Stewie then spits it out.]
Stewie Griffin: Who the hell do you think you are?
Lois Griffin: Honey, it's not gonna go away just because you don't like it.
Stewie Griffin: Well then, my goal becomes clear: The broccoli must die.
Family Guy

Stewie Griffin [watching cheerleaders changing in a locker room] It appears my wee-wee's been stricken with rigor-mortis.
Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: I love God. He's so deliciously evil.
Family Guy

Peter Griffin [trying to potty-train Stewie]: Maybe you don't have to pee. I'll just give you some beer, it'll run right through you.
Stewie Griffin: Beautiful. And while we're at it we can light up a dubey and watch porn.
Peter Griffin: Rea... Really?
Family Guy

Lois Griffin [reading Meg's diary with rest of family gathered around]: Dear Diary, Kevin is so hot. Today he was raking the yard. God I wish he'd throw me into that pile of leaves. [Laughter]
Meg Griffin: [Walks into the room] Hey what's everyone... Oh my God! You're reading my diary! I HATE YOU ALL! WHAAAAAAA! [Runs away crying]
Peter: [Opens beer] Keep going!
Family Guy

Meg Griffin [to boy]: Please go out with me. I am just trying to make Neil jealous. I promise I'll pay and everything.
Boy: Yeah, uh, that sounds cool, but I'm going to be in the hospital that night. [shoots himself in stomach with nail gun.] OHHHOWWW!! [in pain, drags himself away]
Family Guy

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Family Guy is an American animated television series about the fictional Griffin family in Rhode Island. It was created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999.