Stewie Griffin: Damn you all.
Family Guy |
Brian Griffin: You're drunk.
Stewie Griffin: You're sexy.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are
two pink lines...
Peter Griffin: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't
afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie,
Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner,
Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian Griffin: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night
lineup.
Peter Griffin: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian Griffin: That's Street Fighter.
Peter Griffin: Red, blue, green...
Brian Griffin: Those are colors.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Together we can do anything: face any foe, overcome
any obstacle.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial
any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones.
Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else
gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team!
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you talking about?
Family Guy |
Peter Griffin: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits.
It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Family Guy |
Peter Griffin: I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your
wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her,
feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy: OH MY GOD!
Peter Griffin: No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these
new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
Lois Griffin: Hehehe...that's me.
Peter Griffin: You dirty hustler.
Lois Griffin: Hehehehe...
Peter Griffin: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
Lois Griffin: Aha, ok I get it...
Peter Griffin: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking
whore.
Lois Griffin: Alright, that's enough!
Family Guy |
Peter Griffin [narrating his life]: I walked into the kitchen
and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable
meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell
her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think
she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but
lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright,
exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning
to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life.
[Lois knocks Peter out.] I woke several hours later in a daze.
Family Guy |
Peter Griffin [after Lois tells him he's childish]: If I'm
a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if
I'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
Family Guy |
Stewie Griffin: Oh I feel so delightfully white trash. Mommy,
I want a mullet.
Family Guy |
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