I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life. – Ron White
I’ve been offered starring roles in horrible movies, but I just didn’t want to do it. I don’t see why you would. – Ron White
I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show. – Ron White
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever. – Ron White
If I’m in a town for very long, usually I’ll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or work out the beats on new stuff. – Ron White
If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher. – Ron White
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there. – Ron White
I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it. – Ron White
As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving. – Ron White
I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it. – Ron White
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels. – Ron White
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’ – Ron White
I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this. – Ron White
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn. – Ron White
Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there. – Ron White
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing. – Ron White
I don’t like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don’t like to do old stuff. So I do very, very little of it. – Ron White
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day. – Ron White
The hardest that I’ve laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed ’til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off. – Ron White