I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship. – Ron White
Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible. Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing. – Ron White
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh. – Ron White
Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming. – Ron White
I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late. – Ron White
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper. – Ron White
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity. – Ron White
I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it. – Ron White
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man. – Ron White
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill. – Ron White
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. – Ron White
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit. – Ron White
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor. – Ron White
I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me. – Ron White
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between. – Ron White
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out. – Ron White