Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. – Mark Twain
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. – Mark Twain
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. – Mark Twain
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. – Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. – Mark Twain
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. – Mark Twain
The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. – Mark Twain
It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. – Mark Twain
If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first. – Mark Twain
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. – Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. – Mark Twain