The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. – Mark Twain
The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right. – Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. – Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. – Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. – Mark Twain
The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. – Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. – Mark Twain
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. – Mark Twain