I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats. – Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. – Ambrose Bierce
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. – Ambrose Bierce
Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond. – Ambrose Bierce
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect. – Ambrose Bierce