Joan Rivers Quotes, Joan Rivers Quotations, famous Joan Rivers Quotes Sayings Quotations

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Quotes of the Week - Sept 2, 2008:
"It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it." -- US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama at his party's Denver convention.

"No way. No how. No McCain. Barack Obama is my candidate. And he must be president." -- Hillary Clinton backs Obama at convention.

"In international relations, you cannot have one rule for some and another rule for others." -- Russian president Dmitri Medvedev on recognizing independence of Georgia's breakaway regions, saying the West set a precedent by treating Kosovo the same way.

"I wanted to show myself as I am. I couldn't care less about the camera." -- Designer Valentino Garavani, in a new warts-and-all portrait documentary of half century in fashion.

Authors: Joan Rivers Quotes, Famous Joan Rivers Quotes Quotations Sayings

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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was "the man goes on top and the woman underneath." For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
Joan Rivers

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers: American comedian. Born 1933.