I’m not in the habit of consulting lawyers before I do what needs to be done.
– Capt. Jean-Luc Picard
“Lawyers are all right, I guess – but it doesn’t appeal to me,” I said. “I mean they’re all right if they go around saving innocent guys’ lives all the time, and like that, but you don’t do that kind of stuff if you’re a lawyer. All you do is make a lot of dough and play golf and play bridge and buy cars and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides. Even if you did go around saving guys’ lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys’ lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies? How would you know you weren’t being a phony? The trouble is, you wouldn’t.
– J. D. Salinger
My first ‘Daily Show’ piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I’d gotten the green card. I said, ‘I got my green card yesterday.’ And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.
– John Oliver
In the old days, you would have one lawyer to handle everything: speeding tickets, buying a house, contracts, litigation, real estate, copyrights, leasing, entertainment, intellectual property, forensic accounting, criminal offenses… the list goes on. Now, you have to have a separate lawyer for each one of those categories!
– James Belushi
The good and wonderful thing about my whole career is that I’ve always felt that the audience, if I do it well, will track wherever I go, whether it’s President or a lawyer or bad guy or good. All I have to do is execute the material enough where they buy into it. I’ve had the great luxury of the audiences accepting that.
– John Travolta