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Topic: Golf Quotes - Famous Golfer Quotes, Golfing Quotations, Sayings
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Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
John Updike

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Jim Bishop

I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them.
Harry Toscano

Anytime you get the urge to golf, instead take eighteen minutes and beat your head against a good solid wall. This is guaranteed to duplicate to a tee the physical and emotional beating you would have suffered playing a round of golf. If eighteen minutes aren't enough, go for twenty-seven or thirty-six - whatever feels right.
Mark Oman

Many play golf, and one odd effect of that pursuit is that they return to work manifestly stupider than they were. It is, I think, the company of other golfers.
G. W. Lyttleton

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.
Sam Snead

Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
Grantland Rice

I woke my wife up and said "I'm the Open champion. I can’t believe I’ve done it". She said: "I can believe it, there's the trophy, now can you go back to sleep?"
Padraig Harrington
Irish golfer on becoming British Open champion.

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle, you will be lucky to survive.
Harvey Penick

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
A.A. Milne

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
Bob Hope
About his golfing.

Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
P.G. Wodehouse
A Mixed Threesome, 1922.

Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.
Bobby Jones

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
Horace G. Hutchinson

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
Ben Crenshaw

Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
Arthur Daley

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
Ted Ray
Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972.

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
Author Unknown

Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose.
Woodrow Wilson

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
George Deukmejian

I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.
Lee Trevino

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law
H. G. Wells

If you want to take long walks, take long walks. If you want to hit things with sticks, hit things with sticks. But there's no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.
National Lampoon, 1979

Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses.
Adlai Stevenson

I've spent most of my life golfing - the rest I've just wasted.
Author Unknown

A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water.
Bob Ryan

If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina.
H.L. Mencken

My dad has always taught me these words: care and share. That's why we put on clinics. The only thing I can do is try to give back. If it works, it works.
Tiger Woods

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Author Unknown

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
Lee Trevino

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.
Chi Chi Rodriguez

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?
George Archer
More golf quotes 1 Golf Quotes 2 3 More golf quotes

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