Love me, feed me, never leave me.
Garfield |
I'm not over-weight, I'm under-tall.
Garfield |
Diet is "die" with a "t."
Garfield |
I'll rise, but I won't shine.
Garfield |
Never trust a smiling cat.
Garfield |
The meek shall inherit squat.
Garfield |
I'm not messy. I'm organizationally challenged!
Garfield |
All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. There
must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not.
Garfield |
Anybody can exercise... But this kind of lethargy takes real
discipline.
Garfield |
Avoid fruits and nuts: after all, you are what you eat.
Garfield |
Eat every meal as though it were your last.
Garfield |
I am hungry. Therefore I am.
Garfield |
If you want to look thinner, hang around people fatter than
you.
Garfield |
I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because
I eat too much. It's a vicious circle... that took years to
perfect!
Garfield |
I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one
leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with ... one quart of Mayonnaise.
Garfield |
If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen!
Garfield |
If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.
Garfield |
If people were meant to pop out bed we'd all sleep in toasters.
Garfield |
Never leave your food dish under a bird cage.
Garfield |
Oh no! I overslept! I'm late! For my nap.
Garfield |
Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.
Garfield |
Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have gas attacks
...I have nap attacks.
Garfield |
This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony...How
depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the
top.
Garfield |
When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean.
Garfield |
With due respect to Will Rogers, I never met a lasagna I didn't
like.
Garfield |
Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the
lazy life? If the answer is yes... you're all wrong for lazy
week.
Garfield |
You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can
beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie...but
you don't eat my food and you don't sleep in my bed.
Garfield |
All right, wise guy, I got another game for ya. It's called
the "My Claw In Your Butt" game. Now let me out!
Garfield |
Good times are ahead! Or behind. Because they sure aren't
here.
Garfield |
I hate Mondays.
Garfield |
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