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|Football Quotes - Funny Football Quotes
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|I stared into the darkness of the bunkrooms thinking
what to do. 'Ah, shucks, go into the American night, the Thomas
Wolfe darkness, the hell with these bigshot gangster football
coaches, go after being an American writer, tell the truth,
don't be pushed around by them or anybody else or any of their
goons . . . The Ivy League is just an excuse to get football
players for nothing and get them to be American cornballs enough
to make America sick for a thousand years.
Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining
their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals.
To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing
is a contact sport.
Also attributed to Duffy Daugherty.
To play this game (football) you must have fire in you, and
there is nothing that strokes fire like hate.
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to
be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think
College football is a sport that bears the same relation to
education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty
of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over,
I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.
There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers
and Notre Dame haters. And, quite frankly, they're both a pain
in the ass.
Former Notre Dame football coach.
When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and
I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time.
College football is a game which would be much more interesting
if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more
interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase
in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable
diminution in the loss to humanity.
Henry Louis Mencken
That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated
The pride and presence of a professional football team is far
more important than 30 libraries.
Of the Cleveland Browns.
Football is an honest game. It's true to life. It's a game about
sharing. Football is a team game. So is life.
Summing up my football career: I got into a few games after
they were hopelessly won or hopelessly lost, you know, when
they put the substitutes in, and finally the water boy, and
then me. That is the way it worked.
Football linemen are motivated by a more complicated, self-determining
series of factors than the simple fear of humiliation in the
public gaze, which is the emotion that galvanizes the backs
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
Philadelphia Phillies manager.
Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders but
mostly from the neck up.
In life, as in a football game, the principle to follow is:
Hit the line hard.
Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving
80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer.
Anonymous referee - explaining his
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware
of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last
ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our
Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man. No back can
run faster than his interference.
In the football match, everything is complicated by the presence
of the other team.
Jean Paul Sartre
If football players were armed with guns, there wouldn't be
stadiums large enough to hold the crowds.
It was an ideal day for football - too cold for the spectators
and too cold for the players.
Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper
and 10 percent mental.
Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that
has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the
football field and beat your head against other human beings
on a daily basis.
You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother
with a two-by-four.
Football is mesmerizing, because it's a figurative war. You
go in one direction till you get there, but you get there as
a team, not as an individual. Players bond whether they're black
or white, much as soldiers do.
As concerning football, I protest unto you that it may rather
be called a friendly kind of fight than a play or recreation
- a bloody and murthering practise than a fellowly sport or
pastime. And hereof groweth envy, malice, rancour, choler, hatred,
displeasure, enmity and what not else; and sometimes fighting,
brawling, contention, quarrel-picking, murder, homicide and
great effusion of blood, as experience daily teacheth.
Philip Stubbes (1583)
The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them
would never wear the same outfit in public.
I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game
on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if
the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit,"
which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ
to actually fly out of a player's body.
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