If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. – Josh Billings
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. – Josh Billings
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. – Josh Billings
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain’t so wicked as their neighbors. – Josh Billings
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. – Josh Billings
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. – Josh Billings
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. – Josh Billings
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. – Josh Billings
The trouble with people is not that they don’t know but that they know so much that ain’t so. – Josh Billings
I haven’t got as much money as some folks, but I’ve got as much impudence as any of them, and that’s the next thing to money. – Josh Billings
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. – Josh Billings
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. – Josh Billings
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. – Josh Billings
Don’t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. – Josh Billings