It’s not only the most difficult thing to know one’s self, but the most inconvenient. – Josh Billings
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. – Josh Billings
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. – Josh Billings
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. – Josh Billings
There are two kinds of fools: those who can’t change their opinions and those who won’t. – Josh Billings
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. – Josh Billings
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. – Josh Billings
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. – Josh Billings
There’s a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it. – Josh Billings
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. – Josh Billings
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. – Josh Billings
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. – Josh Billings
Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. – Josh Billings
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. – Josh Billings
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. – Josh Billings
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. – Josh Billings
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit. – Josh Billings
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. – Josh Billings
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. – Josh Billings