I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions. – Garry Shandling
I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn’t have enough confidence to use a pen. – Garry Shandling
I play basketball on Sundays and I’m a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. – Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. – Garry Shandling
‘The Larry Sanders Show,’ it’s actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn’t exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don’t think the show was. – Garry Shandling
You know it’s funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it’s curious that they don’t do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don’t. – Garry Shandling
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer. – Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don’t do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It’s hard for me to have fun and I’m a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front. – Garry Shandling
There’s a good chance that if you’re talking to me when I’m snoring, it means I’m bored. – Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it’s a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I’m funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. – Garry Shandling
I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know. – Garry Shandling
First of all, I’m not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. – Garry Shandling
Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn’t know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have. – Garry Shandling
Here’s the thing – I’m single, I haven’t been married, I don’t have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here’s a movie for kids and I’m in there and I’m supposed to be kind of funny for kids. – Garry Shandling
I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents’ influence on me. I’ve talked to a therapist,; I’ve looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I’m a Sagittarius. Please don’t make me reveal more than that. It’s tough enough as it is. – Garry Shandling
Which is, I’m an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship. – Garry Shandling
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don’t even need a woman there. – Garry Shandling
I don’t think I’m severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it’s bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are. – Garry Shandling
I don’t know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with – if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him – I think that’s a man’s way of tuning out. – Garry Shandling