When you do comedy, you can’t please the world, although I’d like to think that most of my audiences were on my side. – Don Rickles
I’ve been hot, I’ve been lukewarm, I’ve been freezing, but I’ve always been a headliner. – Don Rickles
I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I’d better write a book. – Don Rickles
I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don’t know how to fix it. – Don Rickles
An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title – and I use it to this day – was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. – Don Rickles