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Quotes of the Week - May 5, 2008:
"I am so sorry. I had no idea." -- Elizabeth Fritzl, mother of the girl kept prisoner in a basement in Austria by her father for 24 years.

"Some of the comments that Rev Wright has made offend me, and I understand why they offend the American people. He does not speak for me. He does not speak for the American people." -- Barack Obama on his old pastor.

"I am sure I had it. It's why men want to bonk everything that moves ." -- Singer Chris de Burgh explaining how a mid-life crisis made him want to have sex with his children's nanny.

Hillary Clinton is talking tough. She said if Israel is ever attacked by Iran, she would obliterate Iran. Although, she does admire the Iranians for stoning adulterers. -- Chatshow host Jay Leno.

Authors: American Dad Quotes, Famous American Dad Quotes Sayings

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Hayley Smith: My mother stole my boyfriend!
Stan Smith: Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other!
[pause]
Stan Smith: Wait a minute... Daddy didn't think that one through.
American Dad

Newspaper Headline: Israel pulls out of Gaza; Gaza not pregnant.
American Dad

Roger the Alien [after knocking out two girls with frying pan]: Did you see where they went?
Stan Smith: Who?
Roger the Alien: The black guys who did this.
American Dad

Stan Smith: I'm a Republican, Roger. Fixing elections is my bread and butter. You know how many votes George Bush got in the first election? Seven.
American Dad

Stan Smith: So, what part of Islam do you hail from?
Bob Merari: Well, my parents were from Iran, but I was born in Cleveland.
Stan Smith: Really? You know, we also have a Cleveland here in America. And it'd be just super if you didn't blow it up.
American Dad

Stan Smith: Francine, you be very careful out there today, we're at terror alert orange! Which means something might go down somewhere in some way at some point in time.
[shouts] So look sharp!
Hayley Smith [sarcastically]: You know, Dad, it's great how you and your CIA buddies have created a fun little system to keep the masses paralyzed in fear.
Stan Smith: You like shaving your armpits, Hayley? Do you? 'Cause if the terrorists take over this country that's the first thing to go!
[toast pops up and Stan empties the entire magazine of his handgun into the toaster]
Hayley Smith: It's just toast, Dad.
Stan Smith: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.
American Dad

Newspaper headline: Optimist Drowns in Half-full Tub.
American Dad

Steve Smith: Dad! There you are.
Stan Smith: Of course I'm here. W-Where would I be? Alone, touching myself?
Steve Smith: Yeah, right. Only perverts and Democrats do that.
Stan Smith [Laughs]: Well said, soldier.
American Dad

Stan Smith [to pee-ed off Francine]: Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?
American Dad

Stan Smith [picks up the phone]: This is Stan Smith.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son.
Stan Smith: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years.
[starts chugging down pills]
Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office.
Stan Smith: I see.
[foam starts coming out of his mouth]
Stan Smith: Henry, antidote.
American Dad

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American Dad is a satirical animated American TV series, first broadcast in 2005. It follows the events of CIA agent Stan Smith and his family.