Roger the Alien: You set me up, Klaus! Why would you do something
so awful?
Klaus: I'm German. It's what we do.
American Dad |
Steve Smith [after holding hands with Betsy]: I touched her
hand, her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property,
I touched her boob! Algebra's awesome!
American Dad |
Hayley Smith [to Karl Rove]: I know you. You're the amoral
puppet master behind George W. Bush!
Karl Rove: Why thank you.
American Dad |
Hayley Smith: Bye, dad. We're going to see the new Michael
Moore documentary.
Stan Smith: Michael Moore… ? Oh, you mean Michael bin Laden!
American Dad |
Roger The Alien [after getting out of suitcase]: Alright,
where can I get some booze in this place?
Hayley Smith: There is no booze. Saudi Arabia is a dry country.
Roger the Alien [Staring at her]: No seriously, where is the
booze?
American Dad |
Francine Smith: Anything for me?
Stan Smith [looking through mail]: Just a postcard that says
your hair looks like crap. Hey, it's from me.
American Dad |
Guy #1: It's all set, right?
Guy #2: It's gonna be just like in Carrie. [Pulls rope; several
squealing pigs fall on Stan]
Guy #1: Pigs? It was supposed to be pig's blood.
Guy #2: I didn't finish the book.
Guy #1: You stopped reading after the word "pigs"?
That wasn't even the end of the sentence.
American Dad |
Roger the Alien: Hey, with this mortar launcher, we can get
back at the kid who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye!
Steve Smith: Oh, I wish I could get back at him. I'm gonna dress
up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say "Ha!
I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!"
Roger the Alien: Yes, let's leave that plan between you, me,
and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
American Dad |
Steve Smith: So then it's cool to alienate gays?
Stan Smith: Yes, it is, son. Gays are the new Blacks.
American Dad |
Convenience Store Clerk: That'll be $150.
Roger the Alien: What? How are we gonna come up with that kind
of money?
Stan Smith: We could turn in Jeff!
Roger the Alien: I thought Jeff was innocent.
Stan Smith: [gasp] We gotta save Jeff!
American Dad |
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