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I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.
– Joel Madden
Don’t get married in a house where there is no toilet.
– Jairam Ramesh
Well, I don’t use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.
– Iggy Pop
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
– Alan King
Bangkok is a toilet without a flush.
– Bhumibol Adulyadej
The Pacific is the best toilet for satellites.
– Neil deGrasse Tyson
Where do you get lumpy tiles? Well, of course, you don’t. But I get a lot of toilets, and so you just dispatch a toilet with a hammer, and then you have lumpy tiles.
– Dan Phillips
I’ve got four kids – I unblock a toilet every day.
– Eddie Marsan
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.
– Daphne Zuniga
I’m a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?
– Mark McKinney
I am proud to say that I plastic-wrapped Bruno Ricci’s toilet in his trailer.
– Kenneth Choi
Castro couldn’t even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.
– Richard M. Nixon
One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor.
– Rita Ora
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet – it was a marriage of convenience!
– Tommy Cooper
Here in the Netherlands there are towns that take part in the throwing of toilet bowls for a laugh.
– Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands