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Winning isn’t everything – it’s the only thing.
– Vince Lombardi
Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.
– Victor Borge
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
– Bob Phillips
I have made an important discovery – that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
– Oscar Wilde
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one’s enemies. It is the successes of one’s friends that are hard to bear.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Women have a much better time than men in this world, there are far more things forbidden to them.
The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Football is all very well as a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
– Mae West
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
– Winston Churchill
Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn’t do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style.
– David Brent
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
– Mark Twain
My dear boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Moderation is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton. Nothing succeeds like excess.
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely and entirely true.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?