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Homer Simpson Quotes
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Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Homer Simpson

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson

I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
Homer Simpson
If this were really a nuclear war we'd all be dead meat by now.
Homer Simpson
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
Homer Simpson
Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
Homer Simpson
And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
Homer Simpson
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Homer Simpson
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson
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Too much of a good thing