I have lived long enough: my way of life
Is fall’n into the sere, the yellow leaf;
And that which should accompany old age,
As honour, love, obedience, troops of friends,
I must not look to have; but in their stead
Curses, not loud but deep, mouth-honor, breath,
Which the poor heart would fain deny, and dare not.
– William Shakespeare
Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 3. Preparing to go into battle to save his throne, Macbeth realizes that for the first time he could face defeat and death. His contemplative and poetic soliloquy is full of bitterness and defeatism. He speaks about the emptiness of his life as king during his autumn years. Using a metaphor for autumn, he says that his life has become withered and fallen into “the yellow leaf.” He is tired of living and sees only a cursed old age ahead, one in which he is unloved, friendless and without reputation. Abandoned by his thanes, Macbeth cuts a very isolated figure, as he gets set to fight for his future rule and his life. He even momentarily considers suicide, but dares not do it – “breath, Which the poor heart would fain deny, and dare not.”