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Topic: Rugby Quotes - Great Rugby Quotes, Quotations, Funny Sayings
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For an 18-month suspension, I feel I probably should have torn it off. Then at least I could say, 'Look, I've returned to South Africa with the guy's ear.'
Johan le Roux
After biting Sean Fitzpatrick's ear.

I may not have been very tall or very athletic, but the one thing I did have was the most effective backside in world rugby.
Jim Glennon
Irish rugby player.

A bomb under the West car park at Twickenham on an international day would end fascism in England for a generation.
Philip Toynbee

A major rugby tour by the British Isles to New Zealand is a cross between a medieval crusade and a prep school outing.
John Hopkins

I don't know about us not having a Plan B when things went wrong, we looked like we didn't have a Plan A.
Geoff Cooke
After England had been humbled by New Zealand in the World Cup semi-final, 1995.

Look what these bastards have done to Wales. They've taken our coal, our water, our steel. They buy our houses and they only live in them for a fortnight every 12 months. What have they given us? Absolutely nothing. We've been exploited, raped, controlled and punished by the English - and that's who you are playing this afternoon.
Phil Bennett
Pre-game pep talk before facing England, 1977.

Tony Ward is the most important rugby player in Ireland. His legs are far more important to his country than even those of Marlene Dietrich were to the film industry. A little hairier, maybe, but a pair of absolute winners.
C.M.H. Gibson
Wales v Ireland match programme (1979).

We've lost seven of our last eight matches. Only team that we've beaten was Western Samoa. Good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa.
Gareth Davies
Welsh rugby player, 1989.

England's coach Jack Powell, an immensely successful businessman, has the acerbic wit of Dorothy Parker and, according to most New Zealanders, a similar knowledge of rugby.
Mark Reason
Total Sport (1996).

Rugby is not like tea, which is good only in England, with English water and English milk. On the contrary, rugby would be better, frankly, if it were made in a Twickenham pot and warmed up in a Pyrenean cauldron.
Dennis LaLanne

The French selectors never do anything by halves; for the first international of the season against Ireland they dropped half the three-quarter line.
Nigel Starmer-Smith
BBC TV (1974).

The job of Welsh coach is like a minor part in a Quentin Tarantino film: you stagger on, you hallucinate, nobody seems to understand a word you say, you throw up, you get shot. Poor old Kevin Bowring has come up through the coaching structure so he knows what it takes ... 15 more players than Wales have at present.
Mark Reason
Total Sport (1996).

The only hope for the England rugby union team is to play it all for laughs. It would pack them in if the public address system at Twickenham was turned up full blast to record the laughs at every inept bit of passing, kicking or tackling. The nation would be in fits ... and on telly the BBC would not need a commentator but just a tape of that Laughing Policeman, turning it loud at the most hilarious bits.
Jim Rivers
Letter to The Guardian (1979).

This looks a good team on paper, let's see how it looks on grass.
Nigel Mellville
On England's new look against Australia, 1984.

You can go to the end of time, the last World Cup in the history of mankind, and the All-Blacks will be favourites for it.
Phil Kearns

Mothers keep their photo on the mantelpiece to stop the kids going too near the fire.
Jim Noilly
On the Munster pack, BBC TV 1995.

Your hands can't catch what your eyes can't see.
Martin Offiah
Nike rugby boot advert 1993.

Rugby is played by men with odd shaped balls.
Car bumper sticker

The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.
John Dickenson

The women sit, getting colder and colder, on a seat getting harder and harder, watching oafs, getting muddier and muddier.
Virginia Graham
US writer and commentator, referring to the 'muddied oafs' image conjured up by Rudyard Kipling in his poem 'The Islanders' (1903).
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