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Authors: Joan Rivers Quotes, Famous Joan Rivers Quotes Quotations Sayings
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I think I've lost 3lbs - I'm very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa.
Joan Rivers
Commenting on the horrendous heat at the 58th annual Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, 2006
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
At 72
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
Joan Rivers
Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.
Joan Rivers
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, "Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep."
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
Joan Rivers
He who limps is still walking.
Joan Rivers
1 2 3 4 more Joan Rivers quotes
Joan Rivers: American comedian. Born 1933.

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