A year ago, I was myself intensely miserable, because I thought I had made a mistake in entering the ministry; its uniform duties wearied me to death. I burned for the more active life of the world – for the more exciting toils of a literary career – for the destiny of an artist, author, orator; anything rather than that of a priest…After a season of darkness and struggling, light broke and relief fell; my cramped existence all at once spread out to a plain without bounds – my powers heard a call from Heaven to rise, gather their full strength, spread their wings, and mount beyond ken. God had an errand for me.
– Charlotte Bronte
Jane Eyre, Chapter 31. St. John explains to Jane how he decided to become a missionary. He went through a period of struggle and misery as a bored priest. During that time he “burned for the more active life of the world.” Then he received the summons from God to spread his wings and follow the missionary road.