AUTHORS by last name: A  B 
C  D  E 
F  G  H 
I  J  K 
L  M  N 
O  P  Q 
R  S  T 
U  V  W 
X  Y  Z
Motivational - Love - Funny
- Friendship - Life
- Family - Authors - Topics
Topic: Funny Sex Quotes - Funny Quotes
about Sex, Sayings |
Funny Sex Quotes 1 2
|
It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten
who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Mae West
If it wasn't for pickpockets and frisking at airports I'd have
no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
that money can buy.
Steve Martin
When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Les Dawson
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing.
Phyllis Diller
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
Woody Allen
My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe
Oh Lord, give me chastity, but do not give it yet.
St Augustine
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to
play the violin.
Honore de Balzac
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during
a power failure.
Bob Hope
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by
men as well as women.
Bernard Manning
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was,
"the man goes on top and the woman underneath". For
three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many
books on how to?
Bette Midler
Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation
at the taxidermist.
Camille Paglia
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, "You're
only interested in one thing," and you can't remember what
it is.
Milton Berle
Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Gore Vidal
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes
the most amount of trouble.
John Barrymore
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
Drew Carey
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating
as reading sex manuals without the software.
Arthur C. Clarke
Sex... the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and
the expense damnable.
Lord Chesterfield
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered
- and I still do - which is more important.
Hermione Gingold
There are three sexes men, women, and clergymen.
Sydney Smith
I started out to be a sex fiend, but I couldn't pass the physical.
Robert Mitchum
I wish I had as much in bed as I get in the newspapers.
Linda Ronstadt
Sex the poor man's polo.
Clifford Odets
If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour
was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of
sex.
Kate Beckinsale
Sexual intercourse began in nineteen sixty-three (Which was
rather late for me) between the end of the Chatterley ban and
the Beatles' first LP.
Philip Larkin |
|
Funny Sex Quotes 1 2
|
|
FOLLOW US ON:
Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
Quotes with Pictures
- Share with friends
Best Picture Quotes
Be yourself...
Too much of a good thing
|