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|Topic: Funny Life Quotes - Funny Quotes
about Life, Funny Life Sayings
|Life is wasted on the living.
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly
and forgive quickly.
I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations
with better care than they do their lives.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's
full. Scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open
country under fire, and drop into your grave.
Life is a zoo in a jungle.
Peter De Vries
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's
all over much too soon.
When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life
in the eye!
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting
what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out
of it alive.
Life is just a bowl of pits.
Life is just one damned thing after another.
Life is something that everyone should try at least once.
Henry J. Tillman
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition
Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality
rate is one hundred percent.
R. D. Laing
Life's a bitch and then you die.
Nas (Nasir Jones)
Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and
sometimes you weep.
Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Henry David Thoreau
There must be more to life than having everything.
Life is painful, nasty and short... in my case it has only
been painful and nasty.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're
still a rat.
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even
if it kills you.
Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection
to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only
asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to
correct some faults in the first.
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
It's possible, you can never know, that the universe exists
only for me. If so, it's sure going well for me, I must admit.
Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear
and life stands explained.
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and
has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail
out to sea and sink.
Shunryu Suzuki Roshi
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything
they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather
than the victim
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space
would say "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
Willliam S. Burroughs
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other
planets. Why should other planets be any different from this
I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter
how much I accumulate here, it's a short journey. I will go
out of this world black, naked and ugly. So I enjoy life.
Screamin' Jay Hawkins (Jalacy Hawkins)
Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
Instead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made
in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in
the image of the monkey.
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