Lois Griffin: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here,
hold the rest of these bags for mommy.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny
infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself
just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from
INXS
[Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.] I'm
going to do it! [Tries to put bag over left side of his head
then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.] BLAST!
Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman!
Family Guy |
Stewie Griffin [in car with Brian, says to police officer]:
We met on the Internet. He lured me into the car with promises
of candy and funny stories.
Family Guy |
Lois Griffin: Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin [slowly]: I was raped.
Lois Griffin [chuckles]: What?
Peter Griffin: Dr. Hartman violated me. He took my innocence.
Lois Griffin [chuckles harder]: W-What?
[Peter whispers in her ear]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important
part of a physical for a man your age.
Peter Griffin: YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM! [runs off, sobbing]
Lois Griffin: Fucking idiot.
Family Guy |
Chris Griffin: When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette
up my nose, it tickles my brain. Ha ha ha... ow. Oh, now I don't
know math.
Family Guy |
Stewie Griffin: By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps
I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with
the Olsen twins.
Family Guy |
Stewie Griffin: Do the women there have exposed clitorati?
Family Guy |