|Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's
fun costs at least eight dollars.
|I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about 'protectin'
the earth' and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage
and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em
in the nuts!
|Well, I looked in my mom's closet and saw what I was getting
for Christmas, an UltraVibe Pleasure 2000.
|Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping
with Mommy tonight.
|[on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan]
It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll
choke on the sweet air of freedom.
|Stan: I don't want to shoot the bunny.
Uncle Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree
Cartman: Yeah, hippie. Go back to Woodstock if you don't
want to shoot anything.
|Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight.
Cripple fight, outside!
|Cartman: I'm not fat. I'm big-boned.
Stan: No, Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You are a big,
|Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement
of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison: Right. But who was the fattest, oldest
skank on her period?