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Funny Easter Quotes 3

Easter has been cancelled - they found the body.
Jim Butcher
Harry Dressden's t-shirt, The Dresden Files Book 1: Storm Front.

Any Holiday which starts with a 'Good Friday' can't be all bad.
Author Unknown

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
Amy Sedaris

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
Fred Allen

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.
Jack Handy

What do you call a bunny with a large brain?
An egghead.
Author Unknown

Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?
Author Unknown

So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right?
Author Unknown

Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!
Author Unknown

Meadow Soprano: Dad, I've lived in the house all my life. I've seen the police come with warrants. I've seen you going out at three in the morning.
Tony Soprano: So you never seen Doc Cusamano going out at three in the morning on a call?
Meadow Soprano: Did the Cusamano kids ever find $50,000 in
krugerrands and a .45 automatic while they were hunting for Easter eggs?
The Sopranos

Rose Nylund: We could have an old-fashioned Scandinavian Christmas.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Rose, I am not going to drink eggnog while wearing a metal brassiere.
Rose Nylund: We don't do that at Christmas, Dorothy, we do that at Easter.
The Golden Girls

The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig.
Steve Carell

Here's the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.
Denis Leary

Peter Griffin: Lois, this family believes in the Easter bunny. He died for our sins in that helicopter crash.
Family Guy

I wasn't allowed to have sugar as a kid or any cola or anything, so Easter and Halloween were my favorite times because then I could eat as much candy as I wanted and my sister and I would go crazy.
Kaley Cuoco

Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.
Denis Leary

Easter may be the wrong time to tell my parents you're a Jew.

Happy Easter! Some bunny loves you
Author Unknown

A nice Jewish man rising from the dead seems less miraculous than finding one I can date.
Author Unknown

If not for Halloween, Easter would be my favorite zombie-related holiday.
Author Unknown

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Be yourself Oscar Wilde quote
Be yourself...

Too much of a good thing Mae West quote
Too much of a good thing