Of gooth the skyn an hande-brede aboute, The hoote kultour brende so his toute, And for the smert he wende for to dye. As he were wood, for wo he gan to crye, "Help! Water! Water! Help, for Goddes herte!"

Of gooth the skyn an hande-brede aboute,
The hoote kultour brende so his toute,
And for the smert he wende for to dye.
As he were wood, for wo he gan to crye,
"Help! Water! Water! Help, for Goddes herte!"

– Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales, The Miller’s Tale. It’s payback time for Absolon. When Nicholas sticks his rear end out the window and farts at him, Absolon brands Nicholas’s buttocks with a red-hot iron poker that he has brought with him. Nicholas leaps up and cries out for water like he was crazy.

Geoffrey Chaucer Quotes