To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It’s commenting or observing or twisting life. – Steven Wright
I like George Carlin’s jokes. I like his humor. He’s one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things. – Steven Wright
I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the ‘Boston Phoenix,’ and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that’s where I first saw ‘deadpan.’ – Steven Wright
I wear a hat on stage so that people won’t be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don’t wear a hat, there’s no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage. – Steven Wright
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn’t give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn’t seem right. – Steven Wright
When I was 16… I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because… they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them. – Steven Wright