When I buy Windows 98, I’m not only buying something useful, I’m giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing. – Penn Jillette
We knew that we were kind of odd and creeps, and we wanted to do odd, creepy stuff for people who wanted to see that. – Penn Jillette
One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we’re in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality. – Penn Jillette
The First Amendment says nothing about your getting paid for saying anything. It just says you can say it. I don’t believe that if a corporation pulls all the money out of you or a network pulls their money away or you get fired, you’re being censored. – Penn Jillette
Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience. – Penn Jillette
If you want to talk about magic, the stuff that blows me away is the stuff that’s done close up. – Penn Jillette
‘Moxie’ is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah, and that’s nice. – Penn Jillette
Before you can read, you know the difference between a story and reality. And, of course, by the time you’re old enough to do any real damage with an Uzi, you’ve learned that difference. – Penn Jillette
I started out as a juggler, so I know what it means to spend eight hours a day, seven days a week practicing something that people just dismiss with a wave of hand. – Penn Jillette
I’m totally against straight marriage – even though I’m married. I don’t think heterosexual marriage is any of the government’s business. – Penn Jillette
Performers have the right to say what they want to, and anyone paying money has the right to accept or reject the art and entertainment that’s available. – Penn Jillette
Counterintuitive actions prove we can trust real knowledge and do the opposite of what we feel makes sense. – Penn Jillette
I live in Vegas, and I see people by the side of the road with cardboard signs who seem like they might have tried that spending their way out of debt thing. – Penn Jillette
No one can tell you the rules of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ No one. Donald Trump just does what he wants, which is mostly pontificating to people who are sucking up to him, while the network people try to manipulate him into making the highest-rated show they can. – Penn Jillette
I have no evidence that libertarianism leads to a better life. I just think it is morally right. – Penn Jillette
This is going to sound horrible, but I don’t even know how much I make in a year. It must be, you know, a couple of million dollars, a few million. I know it’s more money than my dad, a jail guard, made in his lifetime; more money than I’ll ever need. – Penn Jillette
