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Handshaking means, ‘I don’t have a weapon.’
– Paul Mooney
There’s no such thing as reverse racism.
I do celebrate anything with freedom in it, you know.
A woman can tell me about her having a baby, but I’ll never know what it is to have a baby.
If you’re happy with what you’re doing, then you don’t get bored.
I have known Michael Richards for something like 20 years. We’re friends.
People think you’re crazy if you turn money down… people worship money.
Sometimes, what you do you have no control over because it’s predestined. It’s gonna happen in spite of you. There’s nothing you can do about it.
What does America love more than one white male?
The king of comedy is dead. Richard Pryor was the king of comedy. The rest of them are the king of copycats.
An audience can be like a pack of wolves.
I think I have a mental nappy attitude.
I think about never losing my voice, never giving in, never selling out, always keeping black, always sticking to the street. Staying neighborhood and not Hollywood.
I’m as American as apple pie.
I was born a comic.
People ask me, when was my best time? I always say, ‘Today.’
I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there’s no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.
Julie Christie, I used to hang out with her. She was friends with Richard Pryor and Warren Beatty and all of them. There was a club in Beverly Hills called the Candy Store, a private club. I used to hang out with them all.
If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they’re not happy.
Hollywood doesn’t even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.
You know who you are. If my mother is a nun and someone comes up to me and they go, ‘Your mother is a prostitute.’ It is not going to bother me, because I know my mother is a nun, she’s not a prostitute.
What does it mean to be too black for Hollywood? It’s self-explanatory. Hollywood has certain kinds of blacks that they like.
When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race.
I’ve never seen anyone more messed up over success than Richard Pryor. For him, it’s a constant battle between success in the white world and keeping it real for his black self.
Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.
I am very concerned about Barbara Streisand using the ‘H’ word – ‘honkey.’ That’s what I am concerned about. I am worried about Barbara.
My grandmother was the best. She loved you for you. She loved me for me. She was old-school. They broke the mold with her. They don’t make them like that any more.
I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very funny.
People don’t want to hear the truth; they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy.
When you know who you are, you know who you are. That’s the real dangerous thing in Hollywood, because they all want to create you and mold you.