My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless. – P. J. O’Rourke
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich. – P. J. O’Rourke
The two most frightening words in Washington are ‘bipartisan consensus.’ Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. – P. J. O’Rourke
Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. – P. J. O’Rourke
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware. – P. J. O’Rourke
Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it. – P. J. O’Rourke
The idea of a world where all people are alike – in wealth or in anything else – is a fantasy for the stupid. – P. J. O’Rourke
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life… it’s the magic words ‘I don’t know.’ – P. J. O’Rourke
Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America. – P. J. O’Rourke
The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind. – P. J. O’Rourke
I’m not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. – P. J. O’Rourke
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. – P. J. O’Rourke
The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget. – P. J. O’Rourke
The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor places in which they’re living. – P. J. O’Rourke
Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us. – P. J. O’Rourke
Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It’s helping to preserve that species known as Democrats – thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. – P. J. O’Rourke
I think it’s been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. – P. J. O’Rourke
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses. – P. J. O’Rourke
Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. – P. J. O’Rourke
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but actually hate the job they do. – P. J. O’Rourke