Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. – P. J. O’Rourke
Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that’s done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. – P. J. O’Rourke
In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase ‘hope and change,’ to wit: ‘big, fat government.’ – P. J. O’Rourke
I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. – P. J. O’Rourke
A ‘farm’ today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. – P. J. O’Rourke
There are a number of Americans who shouldn’t vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. – P. J. O’Rourke
It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you. – P. J. O’Rourke
What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians – whatever those motives may be – is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. – P. J. O’Rourke
Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself. – P. J. O’Rourke
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. – P. J. O’Rourke
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. – P. J. O’Rourke
We loved cars until the ’70s or so. Then they became appliances. They turned into motorized cup holders. Most of it has to do with urban sprawl. What began as pleasure ends up in necessity, as so many things do. – P. J. O’Rourke
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody’s guts. – P. J. O’Rourke