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Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
– Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
When good Americans die they go to Paris. And when bad Americans die, they go to America.
She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
Rugby is a game for barbarians played by gentlemen. Football is a game for gentlemen played by barbarians.
Lady Caroline: In my young days, Miss Worsley, one never met anyone in society who worked for their living. It was not considered the thing.
Hester: In America those are the people we respect most.
Lady Caroline: I have no doubt of it.
The English have a miraculous power to change wine into water.
An excellent man: he has no enemies, and none of his friends like him.
Popularity is the only insult that has not yet been offered to Mr. Whistler.
I am told that pork-packing is the most lucrative profession in America, after politics.
A perfect saint amongst women, but so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound hymn-book.
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
She can talk brilliantly upon any subject, provided that she knows nothing about it.
To Australia? Oh, don’t mention that dreadful vulgar place.
One is impressed in America, but not favourably impressed, by the inordinate size of everything. The country seems to try to bully one into a belief in its power by its impressive bigness.
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.
For the British cook is a foolish woman, who should be turned, for her iniquities, into a pillar of that salt which she never knows how to use.
She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest.
The Americans are certainly great hero-worshippers, and always take their heroes from the criminal classes.
Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
The Rhine is of course tedious, the vineyards are formal and dull, and as far as I can judge, the inhabitants of Germany are American.
We are sorry too to find an English dramatic critic misquoting Shakespeare, as we had always been of the opinion that this was a privilege reserved specially for our English actors.
As for borrowing Mr. Whistler’s ideas about Art, the only thoroughly original ideas I have ever heard him express have had reference to his own superiority as a painter over painters greater than himself.
He is a typical Englishman, always dull and usually violent.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.
The English mind is always in a rage. The intellect of the race is wasted in the sordid and stupid quarrels of second-rate politicians or third-rate theologians.
One should not be too severe on English novels; they are the only relaxation of the intellectually unemployed.
Frank Harris has been received in all the great houses – once!
The English public like tediousness, and like things to be explained to them in a tedious way.
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.