There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I’m like – ‘I can’t laugh that much. That’s so weird to me.’ – Norm MacDonald
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money. – Norm MacDonald
When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren’t in very good shape. – Norm MacDonald
You’re trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent’s the same. It’s not like you’re trying to do evil to them. – Norm MacDonald
I didn’t really want to inject myself into anything political. A lot of people were asking me at the time about Jay and Conan, and I hate doing anything serious. – Norm MacDonald
I sort of try to write everything for me. I’m a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don’t remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I’m trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they’re accessible to everyone. – Norm MacDonald
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous. – Norm MacDonald
I started on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn’t get a guest – which was often back then since he was just starting out – he would just call me down to be a guest. – Norm MacDonald
Letterman is very intimidating because he’s so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he’s a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him. – Norm MacDonald
In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it. – Norm MacDonald
I have always loved Las Vegas. It’s a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that. – Norm MacDonald
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it’s very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I’m not a great actor, so if the material isn’t good, I’m in torment while I do it. – Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing – everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that’s all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters! – Norm MacDonald
A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy. – Norm MacDonald
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny. – Norm MacDonald