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Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.
– Mae West
A man’s kiss is his signature.
I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
It’s easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.
Women want certain things in marriage – the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.
A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty – he has suffered longer.
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
The curve is more powerful than the sword.
When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.
It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
It’s not what I do, but the way I do it. It’s not what I say, but the way I say it.
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another in case it doesn’t rain.
How do you do, Miss West?
How do you do what?
– Red Skelton and Mae West
I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.
So many men, so little time.
Ten men waiting for me at the door?
I’m tired, send one of them home.
It’s not the men in my life that counts – it’s the life in my men.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
When you got the personality, you don’t need the nudity.
You’re never too old to become younger.
I only have ‘yes’ men around me. Who needs ‘no’ men?
Man: This is the first time I ever came in contact with a woman like you.
Mae West: If I can help it, it won’t be the last.
Man: You were wonderful tonight.
Mae West: I’m always wonderful at night.
Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers.
I always say, keep a diary and some day it’ll keep you.