(C) AllGreatQuotes. All Rights Reserved.
Chinese people age overnight.
– Karl Pilkington
I’ve got loads of nieces and nephews.
I don’t want to go about offending people; that’s not my plan.
You know, when you’re a producer, you’re a bit of a lackey. You’re just making cups of tea and making sure they’ve got newspaper, stuff like that.
Comedy’s really subjective, you know.
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That’s well documented.
I’ve never worried about life’s big questions.
I’d rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Being honest with you, it’s not the ‘great’ wall of China. It’s an all right wall. It’s the ‘All Right Wall of China.’
I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla’s just sat there doing nowt.
I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you’re seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that’s added gives you a certain feeling.
Me mum used to always have the radio on – even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school – constant noise, really.
I think it’s a problem when something’s a dream because it’ll never live up to your expectations. It’s better to go somewhere thinking it’ll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised.
I sometimes wonder how we’re short of cod. There’s gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it’s a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they’re running out of all sorts. Make ’em panic a bit.
I don’t know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it’s there, don’t you?
It’s not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
To be honest, marriage doesn’t scare me and that, it’s just once you’ve been together for so long, if you haven’t got any kids it’s just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn’t it?
Comedy’s really subjective, you know; that’s why it’s so hard.
If you’re doing the same job every day, there’s room for error.
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you’re a different person on holiday. You’re sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you’ve never met and for 10 days you’re someone else. You’re out of your comfortable zone.
For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They’re doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don’t get all that social media stuff, I’ve always got other things I want to do – odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
I love nature – it’s probably my most favorite thing. I don’t watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that’s in there.
I’ve never won many awards, I didn’t get certificates for swimming or anything.
But I’m not an idiot. At the end of the day, I’ve learned a lot.
If you’d have told me five years ago that I’d have done all this – two books, some television and everything – I’d panic, I’d be scared.
They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn’t anything else drown it out at the time?
I’ve never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I’ve done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
People eat duck and you think, well, we’ve got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!