I don’t do marriage. I think it’s incredibly naff. And I don’t like vulgar displays of ostentation. – Jenny Eclair
I can’t watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That’s my job. – Jenny Eclair
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad’s Army shirts, accessorised by a cat’s basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga. – Jenny Eclair
I’m very bad at having heroes. I don’t rate anyone particularly highly because I’m so snide and competitive and not very nice. – Jenny Eclair
I’m a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid. – Jenny Eclair
I wouldn’t say I was grumpy. It’s more pathological – I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards. – Jenny Eclair
I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles – they are both barristers. – Jenny Eclair
I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I’ve been good at. – Jenny Eclair
Well, I’m not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast. – Jenny Eclair
What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organise everything for me. I don’t want to do things on the Internet. – Jenny Eclair
I’ve got this horrible feeling that I’m one of those people who’ll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere. – Jenny Eclair
I love fashion, but I don’t come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age. – Jenny Eclair
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It’s because I’m freelance, and I’ve never had a proper job. I don’t have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me. – Jenny Eclair
I’ve just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn’t get his good, thick hair. I got my mother’s thin, wispy, non-event hair instead. – Jenny Eclair
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn’t know that funny women existed. It wasn’t until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny. – Jenny Eclair
