Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been givin’ me lately. – Jeff Foxworthy
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling. – Jeff Foxworthy
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He’s got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him. – Jeff Foxworthy
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you’re not ‘professional’ any more. – Jeff Foxworthy
I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family. – Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I’m very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school. – Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. – Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it. – Jeff Foxworthy
Between New York and LA, there’s 200 million people that aren’t hip, and they don’t want to be hip. – Jeff Foxworthy
My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! – Jeff Foxworthy
Little girls love dolls. They just don’t love doll clothes. We’ve got four thousand dolls and ain’t one of them got a stitch of clothes on. – Jeff Foxworthy
Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work. – Jeff Foxworthy
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. – Jeff Foxworthy
