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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
– Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
My favorite animal is steak.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.